'ay''a' vagh vIlabchoHpa' Dochmeyvam vIchoqbe'taH. motlh ghItlhvo' mI'mey vIteq 'ach rut vIlIjpu'. 'ay''a' vagh vIlabchoHDI' tetlh vIgher. lut vIchoHDI' mI'mey vIchoHbe'taHmo' toghHa'law' mI'mey. yIbuSHa'.

I strongly advise you not to read the footnotes before they occur in story. There are a lot of spoilers in here.

[1] Yeah, I know that seems to be an artery. Maybe Maltz is bad at biology.
[2] I originally had no idea why I wrote this chapter this way. I seem to love telling a story obliquely, and to give you the chance to figure out what is going on along with vajar. And then many chapters down the road it became useful to the story.
[3] Wow, do we ever not have any good way to express foam/bubbles/froth/scum.
[4] Even though in Star Trek terms it's a cleaner obliteration, from this verb's homophone in French I always imagine the enemy exploding into a mist of blood.
[5] This came up this week. I don't think I'm going to end up being correct changing the plural of a word depending on whether it denotes a body part or not, but I'm so fond of it I'm going to cling to the practice until it's beaten out of me. Also this sentence made me laugh on every proofing pass. It started just as {jup luH buv} which was funnier.
[6] i.e. Mahoun, the nov SuD HoD
[8] I tried {tar law'chugh law' 'aqroS law'chugh puS} but that's obviously crazy. I shouldn't be trusted with Klingon.
[9] Not recommended in real life after traumatic loss of a liver. I shouldn't be trusted with Klingon or with first aid.
[12] Only coughing up a little blood? Good to go girl!
[14] I'm sure it's obvious that this isn't typos, but just in case: this isn't a series of typos. Hota'ro' isn't feeling up to making all those sounds right now. You'll have to forgive her. She has a knife through one lung.
[15] I'm sure the cliche is as old as ranged weapons, but I still love it every time.
[16] Oh oh, more latrine duty for ghutaroy.
[17] What does it say about me that I had no problems disembowelling one of my characters in his sleep, but it hurt me to abuse these stupid grammar rule?
[18] This paragraph is a recap here for anyone who chose not to read through the battle and first aid gore of the preceding chapters. If you're intent on avoiding gore, skip the second paragraph. Then you should be okay until tomorrow when they hose down the bridge and make lunch. Those two items may not be as completely unrelated as they should be.
[20] ghIrel, for those not as deeply obsessed with the story as I, was the ship's engineer who died at the beginning of the whole story, and whose room Hota'ro' is currently occupying, on account of hers being in mIch loS, the sector that is currently depressurized, on account of hull damage. She's wearing his tunic because the captain cut hers off in order to more effectively administer first aid for a wound she sustained in battle. Wow, a one-reference recap of much of the story to date.
[21] Yeppers, we upped the budget. Now you'll be able to see the mIchmey and not just hear about them through the QumwI'.
[22] I can't help it. Are all basic safety precautions unKlingon?
[23] Bonus points if you picked up on this already in the second to last paragraph of 'ay' javmaH Hut.
[25] If this confuses you, see the KGT section on regional accents.
[28] I had a lung injury once. I remember crawling around on my hands and knees, gasping in exertion. I also now work in an environment where I must use supplemental oxygen and monitor my blood oxygen saturation. I suffered sympathetic shortness of breath for a week working on this story. Don't say I don't suffer for my art.
[29] This is a technical point. ghutar does not say because while he has selected the control settings that do this, the controls have not completed the task of increasing oxygen. Pilots remember that selecting a setting and achieving it are not necessarily the same. This is not apropos of anything. I'm not implying that the oxygen setting on the *Dugh* isn't working right (because who would need a footnote to suspect that something on *that* ship was broken!)
[30] Huh, there are two number 30's. You'll have to look at both of them and decide which one fits best. I'm not going to try and figure it out.
[30A] Interesting working with a word that is plural in English and singular in Klingon. I catch myself thinking in English when I want to use bIH or misuse lu-.
[30B] I got this wrong and had to do a separate proofreading pass to ensure everyone had the right number of each kind of internal organs for their species in this story.
[32] In the advanced model you get diamonds out of that slot.
[34] tlhIngan DujDaq bIchech net chaw' 'a' beq HIq DanIHchugh, qay'!
[35] This used to be vo''eghqu'. vivent les nouveaux mots!
[36] I'm a little worried that this sounds too weak, more "help me" than "cover me." I'm looking for something closer to the latter, without going to "jIvangtaHvIS HIHub."
[37] Was luSoD before the new words.
[38] If you don't know why the captain would go to the transporter room, you haven't been paying close attention. If you don't know why he would leave a semiconscious-at-best ensign in control of the bridge while he did so, you might be paying closer attention than vajar.
[40] Is the locative -Daq okay here? I usually don't use it like this, but it doesn't have to be read as "turned to the captain." Pretty much any locative sense works: turned towards/at/to/in the direction of, so I think it's okay.
[41] I wrote what would probably amount to twenty minutes worth of conversation between ghutar and Hota'ro', knowing what they were talking about, then had the captain hit the switch at just the right time. I may post it as an extra after all the relevant information has been extracted through the story.
[43] I don't know how a single stab wound works versus with the much touted bIraqlul, so this is my version.
[44] Hmm. I started with , but then I asked myself What is the object of tu'? Do I mean tu'be'? So then I changed it.
[45] If you're not up on your Klingon culture-- I haven't watched the referenced episode myself-- you may need to note that I'm drawing on descriptions of the ritualized form of suicide that is acceptable in Klingon culture. Offing yourself with a disruptor is dishnourable. So is screaming in pain lying on the floor begging for the ritual and probably screaming during the ritual, but I rather suspect that screaming of ones companions to warn the Black Fleet of the coming of another warrior arose out of an attempt to protect the honour of the dying. Actual assisted suicide by stabbing is rarely going to match the idealistic ritual.
[46] I had a point here regarding the xiphoid process but then I realized that I was probably wrong, and that I just wanted to say “xiphoid process” so I cut it down to this: xiphoid process.
[48] Oops, the last week was all a dream! (I promise not to do that to you).
[49] On the first pass she lied about this here, and I had to go through a whole thing about why, before I realized that she wouldn't have lied anyway. There are so many things I spent so much time figuring out before I realized that they weren't figureoutable because they were wrong.
[50] This amuses me because there is so much lore in aviation, so many things that old captains know because they learned long ago, but that might not be true anymore. Apparently bIrmoHmeH taS hasn't been brutally toxic for years. It's only if you mix the two kinds. (Another piece of aviation lore: never mix two sorts of anything, even if they are both approved for the aircraft). Sometimes lore is correct, though. Slightly dry reading, perhaps. but the gist of it is that the WING FELL OFF because they mixed two different sorts of hydraulic fluid. For the non-aviation types: wing fall off bad.
[52] Can pong mean "specify the existing name of" in this way? I haven't used it this way before.
[53] tIqqu'choH 'ay'meywIj. bepchugh vay' HISovmoH.
[54] vajar is addressed as HoD because he is the commander of a ship, but his military rank is la'. the jonpIn heads a department with easily triple the crew complement of *Dugh* and while she doesn't command a ship, her military rank is HoD. The officer ranks run ne' lagh Sogh la' HoD 'ech totlh Sa' 'aj. So the little engineer outranks vajar.
[58] No, that plural isn't an error. bIraqlul seems to dictate a third lung for this species. I guess that's why she's doing so well.
[58] (yup, there seem to be two 58s. This one goes in 'ay' 109) This was going to be {vey} for edition, but from the context we have in the Monopoly game, I think that's looking more like "set." And yeah, I screwed up when I gave him a phaser the first day. I had thought that a disruptor was a sort of phaser. So now I'm fixing it.
[59] My husband named qaH'eng He wanted a U before the A and to put a Z on the end, and I had to remind him he needed a vowel next to the qaghwI' (or “single quote” as he calls it) but it's otherwise as he dictated.
[60] I was about to have Mahoun give the slaveHey chocolate, but some instinct told me to check if that was okay for Andorians. Google says no, and has this additional information on their biology:
[61] Klingons mature much faster than humans, according to TNG canon
[62] Romulan assassination probes. It's a real Star Trek thing. I looked it up and everything. It's kind of reassuring that all I have to do is not make up anything this improbable and I'm inside Star Trek parameters.
[66] I've been persuaded that the species name Kolari is more accurate than Orion for the green-skinned raiders, and that Klingon history suggests that they would have learned the name from the people themselves and not via the Federation. Thus they are now qo'larnganpu'.
[67] Real life first aid note: do not remove impaled objects from accident/alien raid victims unless you too have a magical Star Trek tricorder. Leave the object undisturbed in the person, removing it from other things it may be attached to, even if you have to saw it off in order to transport them.
[68] It amuses me that the etymology of Sotlaw' looks like “is apparently in distress” and that I've added a noun marker to give the same meaning again. Like French “ma tante” (even “ta ma tante” in Northern Quebec).
[69] In universe, the ship is named after the three letter combination UFP. Thank you tlhngan-Hol listserver combatants for your inspiration.
[71] Yeah, I've definitely gotten to an exciting part of the story. Three Klingons are in a computer room looking up Imperial Fleet Regulations. The reason they say “write what you know” must be that no matter what you try to write, you'll end up with what you know, so you might as well aim there.
[76] Wow, having one two letter suffix in there makes it hard to parse, doesn't it. Did anyone read Dujoymeymaj correctly on the first pass?
[77] At this point I had the kids looking up the regs and was asking myself, “What is vajar doing?” I couldn't shake the idea that he was updating his Facebook status: Captain vajar just checked in on the Battleship *veS*. “Kradge tail with a side of fresh gakh for dinner. Chillin' on the big ship while I get some repairs. Maybe I'll get the disruptor canons upgraded while I'm here.” And then he kills twenty minutes playing Farmville. Hmm. No? Better rethink that one.
[78] Any comments on this as “the guy who seemed to be wot'av”?
[79] Don't forget that it also means “chant.”
[80] This has to be pretty common in a culture of warfare and vengeance. There must be orphanages for this sort of thing.
[82] I'm not sure whether Star Trek physics allows things to rust in space, the General is that ignorant, or she's using a metaphor. I think the last. *I* know that rusting requires oxygen.
[84] SubeplaHpa' vang Hota'ro'. I was going to call this “hanging a lampshade on the fourth wall," and then I found out that yIn can too take an object. So Hota'ro' is wrong. She is sometimes.
[85] 'ay' SochmaH Hut: bIjQo'
[87] 'ay' chorghmaH chorgh/chorghmaH Hut.
[88] As I first wrote this it was Hota'ro' showing him where the toilets were. I only changed it because I decided I wanted ghutar's side of the story first. The cultural baggage we haul around amuses me. They were halfway done the hall before I realized I was mentally looking for a door with a little man symbol on it. Do Klingons have sex-segregated toilet rooms? I doubt it. We know they have toilets, and toilet rooms. So Hota'ro' would have followed him in and no doubt kept talking as she would were he using a drinking fountain or having a snack. I bet she pulled up her paH bID and pissed against the same wall, or however the toilets work on a Klingon battleship. Lacking the required verbs, I skipped that part, regardless of who accompanied him to the can. Klingons, I've decided, are, unlike most human males of my culture, so manly that they can sustain conversation and pee at the same time.
[89] I laugh that it's the V2 suffix here that disambiguates the -bogh clause.
[90] Invented (by me) line/house name. It's real in ghutar's universe.
[91] I suddenly realized here that there is no Klingon word for paranoid. Or is that word covered by “Klingon”?
[92] I initially wrote here: yaS wa'DIchlI''e' jIHbe' 'e' vIyaj. 'ach DaH yaSlI' wa'DIch jIH, and it took until I was trying to translate it into English before I realized that a) it doesn't work in English and b) it probably doesn't work in Klingon either, bur it was really odd how convinced I was that it made sense. You get, right, even if you are sure it's wrong?
[94] Admit it, you thought the burned out tujmoHwI' was just terrible Klingon engineering, and not a plot point. Although most of the plot so far has been driven by terrible Klingon engineering. See, Klingon nerds rarely survive high school.
[95] This makes perfect sense to me. I'm not sure if it's due to my fevered imagination or because it makes sense. What, from this, do you think Hota'ro' wants to know?
[96] That is Nausicans, a species whose males, if I recall correctly, keep their testicles in their knees.
[97] And here I was thinking that the sensors were just malfunctioning. Really, that's what I thought. But it turns out it was Mahoun all along. Now I'm in suspense. Is he going to try and rescue them?
[98] The Sabatier reaction.
[99] I find this word a little weird because it seems like it should mean suspect, but it means predecessor. I found a great English parallel though. “Debride” sounds like it should mean divorce.
[101] If canon dictates non-aquatic evolutionary ancestors for Klingons please tell me and I'll be happy to change this part.
[103] Before the morning I wrote this, I would have thought this was a bird.
[104] We just went through a records audit at work. Apparently the importance of keeping proper records is embedded in my subconscious to the extent that even Klingons do it.
[105] In other words, I don't know if Klingons publish porn, but vajar has a stack of Romulan porn, for legitimate work-related reasons. 'ach nuDta'DI' ghopDu'Daj Say'moH Hung yaS 'e' vIpIH.
[109] That's right. I just resolved a situation between Klingons with well-kept records instead of edged weapons. I'm sorry.
[111] I like the idea that, unlike a teenager in my culture, ghutar isn't the least bit squicked to relate the story of his glorious conception.
[113] The -'e' probably wasn't really necessary as a disambiguator, but it was fun.
[117] gharben cha' is the planet where 'eSSIm works and where six-sided candles are illegal.
[118] Or uh, what prefix would you put here for "qImyal said you ..."?
[120] Where does the "ghaj project" (which I think is a great idea) come on 'having' thoughts?
[121] Me: "bangwI', if a Klingon had a bad headache, what metaphor do you think she'd use?"
Him: "I guess you don't know the Klingon for freight train, do you?"
Me: "Well, actually ..."
Apparently it's from a song.
[122] Hmm, I guess the Klingon translator is programmed to omit all the weasel words, "I'm sorry ma'am but I regret that ..."
[123] I've been avoiding using wa'leS to mean "the next day" because that's not what it means, so how can I use all these fabulous time delay words to describe time in storytelling? What do you think of ngugh wa'leS?
[125] Mahoun is probably the yelwIyyItngan version of John.
[126] Another one for the “language does not work that way” file. I'm not thinking she got an “A” in Fed Standard class.
[127] It's not quite the canon use of the tuQDoq and apparently contradicts a cooperative story (on the KLI MUSH) that I made up almost 15 years ago, but the Yelwitian security chief's description is the way it works in this universe.
[128] In humans I have found sinus infection pressure release documented occuring through the eardrum, rupturing it, and right through the skin of the face, but one hearing-impaired Klingon per story is more than enough. Today, Klingon sinuses are near enough to the orbit to vent around the eyeball. Sometimes I feel like I should apologize for making stuff up, but it's a story: I'm supposed to make stuff up, right?
[130] This scene was already planned, but I ended up writing it on an airplane immediately after having been subjected to the USA TSA "enhanced patdown." I was unimpressed. "I think I could have hidden an entire betleH from her," I later told my travelling companion. I once failed the sniffer test and they had to take me into another room to do a further search. "Look I can take off my jeans and t-shirt if you like." They were horrified.
I've given this rant before, haven't I?
[133] Oh great. The one time I use a stock character name and I immediately confuse myself.
[134] Thanks .
[135] Please don't be insulted when I tell you things over and over again. It's partly because I don't want to burden you with having to remember all the details and partly because I never got tired of stories like Chicken Little or The Three Little Pigs where the same information or the same circumstances are repeated. The familiarity is supposed to be reassuring and symmetrical, not boring.
[136] Thanks to the list members for input on how to say, "member of the Klingon High Council."
[138] And then I realized that when you're dealing with Klingons, direct makes the most sense.
[139] I googled "squashed eyeball" for some help on the pain and prognosis, but I didn't dare click on any of the resulting links.
[140] I had already named yejquv DevwI' bar when I asked the list for suggestions on how to say "Councilmember Foo." It did not occur to me until I was about to promise that I would not actually name a councillor "Foo" that I had already done the next closest. So naturally to make it more Klingon I slapped a K-sound on the front.
[141] I wrestled with latlh here, taking it in and out, but in the end decided that the doctor knows that alcohol is a poison, even if his statement may slightly confuse vajar. latlh changed to pIm since I wrote the footnote. Also it just seems to fit for me that the doctor would brief the commanding officer on the crew's medical conditions. I think the soldiers themselves are told "You are fit to work today" or "You stay in sickbay one more day." A different definition of "confidentiality of medical information."
[143] Like an ammo clip. As featured in The Omega Glory.
[145] Turns out that Klingon plastic surgery involves a lot of actual plastic.
[147] Like they're going to believe that. The HungpIn probably thinks that's hilarious.
[148] Now accepting notes on whether verbs of fighting require both opponents to be subject {ghobchuq loDnI'pu'} are flexible or whether it's on a per verb basis. I'd have to get off the couch to check out the canon.
[149] Can you tell I do a lot of writing in airports? I've been travelling in the USA this month, where the security procedures are insane. It's clearly coming through in the writing. I've removed a lot of security procedures on re-editing, because even Klingons aren't that paranoid. And they don't put me through USELESS searches.
[160] Forgive me but the dubious "authenticity" of having numerous contradictory definitions of similarly named time periods for each of the worlds in this story didn't seem to be to anyone's benefit. They all use the same years/weeks/days, or close enough for government work, anyway.
[161] Who requires a je here? I feel happy without it.
[182] Someone may argue that the Ho' teywI' is just a Terran item, but teeth are important to Klingons. I think they have some associated personal hygiene.
[186] Maybe you won't like the auditor as the object of DIS, but as what we call the direct and indirect object are kind of fluid with nob, or ghojmoH, I'm okay with this, but understand if you don't like it.
[187] Conversation with a friend:
Me: "None of my characters have children. Some readers will find that unnatural."
Her: "Also they live on spaceships and aren't married."
[203] Changed from lut yIja' based on recent discussion, but I don't have to like it.
[231] Personal name, being introduced here.
[237] What are you picturing here for the De' 'aplo' and have you a better description?